Cute mom. Fiery daughter.

Looking at how excited and happy they both were when seeing their family, I don’t wish to be in elsewhere because it was a heartwarming moment for me to witness at that moment.

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Chinatown KTV

Met up with the GSA colleagues for KTV session today at the Chinatown KTV! I was really late because I was sort of dealing my family drama and plus I was sort of limping all the way there. Hehe…But still, I wasn’t the latest cos I went with Yun Shiuan! Haha..

Dorothy was so nice! She actually baked cookies for us and put them in a decoration tupperware box! I was starving as I reached the place so I gobbled up the cookies as many as possible… muhahaha… Sheng Ye even offered me his. =Pp

During the singing session, they all wanna throw me out to the toilet because they found me too noisy and loud. I was like ” where got!! even got, ktv is supposed to high ma!! ” Can’t help it, I belong to the young clan.. they are the older generation so.. hahahaha.

I am too lazy to blog about the whole event details about overall, the place is great and cheap. I think it’s really worth it to go another time. Definitely. The company is surprisingly fun-loving and it just feels like a bunch of friends that have known each other for months. ( We only knew one another for about 1 week.. ) Speaking of this, I am supposed to go upload the photos on facebook later.

I am so going to Chinatown KTV again!!!

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Protected: Family drama that cost me a cm of my skin.

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Tired. With the immerse loss of blood recently, hehe, it’s no wonder that my legs are weak, my stomach aches a lot and I get exhausted physically.

I guess I didn’t get a chance to blog about my previous job at GSA. It was awesome. Got to be a liaison officer for the whole event and I got the chance to meet delegates from all around the countries and exhibitors from all around the world. It’s really awesome.

There was a night event at the flyer there where everyone gathered there for dinner and a cocktail party where u just go around mix and mingle. I got a chance to talk to a philippines major, a few koreans and a funny and interactive British. Despite I ended up making a small mockery out of myself, I seriously had a fun time throughout the 3 day event.

The British: ” Did the Sri Lankans gave u any crabs? ” ( I was in charge of taking the Sri Lanka delegates around )

Me: ” Oh…. Can I be real honest with you? They did give me a lot of crap.”

B: ” Oh really! They are famous for their crabs! Huge! Delicious too! ”

Me:” OH SIR! U mean crabs…as in, those ( raising my arms to try to act like a crab ) crabs?? Okay! ( laughed out loud in shock and embarrassment.

– – – – – – –

I was cool with it though. hahahaha..

So currently, I am unemployed. Have been sending tons of resumes out there and I have rejected quite a number due to the distance and the job scope and the pay.

Still, I have been around the town area with Ej recently and we have been to various events these days such as the one that is organised by the Lien Centre at SMU about Social entrenpenuers. Got to meet Kenny Low, the founder of Oschool; Sarah Mavrinac, from Aidha and Jack Sim. We also went to Home, one of the clubs at clarke quay to listen to the cool Dj Evalicious. ( Can check out the photo that we took with her at my facebook account. ) We also went to the Flea Market at Little India where there is actually free services provided to anyone. I picked up 3 tops without any charges and I am so planning to go donate my old clothes there in another couple of months. Personally, I went to the Naturally 7 workshop last monday by myself and got to know a woman called Diana there.

It’s like all these networking and stuff. I have never really stepped into such a world where I meet strangers all day and get to know about bits and pieces of their lives. At first, I wondered: What’s the purpose? It all feels so superfical. But then, soon when u get used to all these and you noticed that through some conversations, you actually happened to find some contacts whereby they can really help u currently or even in the near future ( this is exceptionally helpful for those that are interested in venturing into business industry and all that. ) Not only that, I got to see people that are of the same interest as me.

Did i mention Maya before? She provides vocal coaching but it was too expensive for me that I had to look for another source of help. I kept bumping into her whenever I am at Esplanade. Be it at an outdoor music event, or even the workshop.

Hmmm… I have yet to figure out what’s behind all these stuff that I am doing lately because all these feels so new to me.

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Protected: I can die from it – Music.

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Dear Daddy

Spent some quality time with my father tonight at the airport after sending off his big boss. I realised I love to mingle and interact! Most of his colleagues are japaneses and he brought me along tonight. I have always love to go to his company’s outings/dinners because I always enjoy seeing those Japs bowing and saying things in a extremely courteous manner.

After that, we headed to T’s Mac for supper. We had the chicken drumlets meal. I deliberately upsided the meal because he’s paying so I don’t have to care! Hehe! All along, my father and my relationship has always been rather superfical. In a sense that.. we don’t talk about how we truly feel. From my point of view, I have always thought that he always politically right. I mean.. no one can be that right all the time. Or should I even say that’s no right or wrong to whether how u should feel towards some things.. but then, the replies that he gave me were either silence or just a ” it’s okay lah… as long as she is happy.”

So sometimes I am also rather frustrated. But then, again, quoted from GSA’s boss Roger: ” We can’t control others.”

So basically, we just talked about his job, her and some lame funny jokes that we made at some strangers. There has always been an awkwardness between me and him whenever we are both out together alone. I guess it’s because I feel I don’t really know him that well and it has always been like this since young. Despite this, I have always enjoyed my time with my father. Because there’s always a positive aura around him. Haha.. He’s always smiling and he is always encouraging. I have never been more happy to have him as my father you know?

As being a 50 plus years old man ( protective towards his real age. hehe ), he has used public transportation for less than 5 times in his life? Car is always his main mode of transportation. That’s why while we were strolling and exploring in T3, he asked me to bring him to the MRT station. Haha.. cute guy. The gate was about to close so I told him that we had to leave early cos ” you don’t wanna use to get stuck inside yeah? ” He quickly went up the escalator and left the station.

Dear Daddy, you will live until real old and happy. I assured you. That good looking smile of yours ( which I inherited ) should appear more often and they should be real. Dear daddy, I love you.

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My Family

I am moving on.

I met up with that woman today at the airport. It was a great meet up. I mean, she accepted my apology and we sorta clarified things out… like make things clearer in a sense. I have no idea what’s is going on EXACTLY ( like the feelings within them etc) but I know some actions are not acceptable. So I did what I can in my part to help my family and myself.

I ought to complain that… all these are hard. Real difficult. Especially I am dealing it alone now. & I am so not going to stop these tears from flowing because I need them to come out from my eyes.

I have managed to find the strength and effort to get back to work and help them out. Or should I say, her. Because I am not just me. I am Xiaoxuan. I know myself.

– – – – – – – – –

I miss you. But I can’t promise you anything. So I have let go. I am sorry.

and I am trying so hard to move on. I know I can.

— – – – – – – – –

I can’t protect him forever. Should I even do that? I feel I should. Because no one is here, except me and their tongue languages. But I can’t be around him 24/7. I am afraid that once I am asleep, he will suffer from those things again which I think he don’t deserve it. And I am afraid that I will get awaken up by all those noise in the middle of the night. I am frighten that something will happen because I know at some point in time, something will bound to happen. I want to stop that.

Ah…. I so want to sing. I WANT TO SING.

— — — — — —

those spittings; those hittings; those shouts / screams; those knifes;  those actions; those words; those negativities..

all will be gone soon if I help and don’t give up. Yes.

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Leaving a club at about 11 to 12 plus is not sad. Reaching home when the first sentence that u hear is ” YOUR PARENTS ARE NOT DEAD YET LEH”.

And we’re done. So done. I had enough of comparisons with her.

I am self-centred. Yes. So let’s be done with and let it be history.

I have enough.

I just went through it outside and now, she’s taking a scissors, a cloth and a pin or whatsoever walking towards the master bed room.

“CB CB CB……..!! ”

I had enough.

” GO SLEEP WITH UR DAUGHTER SINCE U HAVE SEEN HER CB!!”

<kick his butt. he fell to the ground and woke up during his sleep. hit him. whack him.>

i hate you. I hate you all.

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Maybe all along I should known better not to find anyone to rely on.

Maybe I was right all along.

My perspective of everything during those days.

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yeah.

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